I did it AGAIN

God im sorry I did it again, I can't take the pain anymore. God why did I need to see them having a happy life with there new family, what did I do to have this kind treatment, I am an achiever, I am a good daughter, but why they didn't see it? Why this time? It's painful knowing they are happy while I am secretly dying... God I can't take your quest to me anymore, I am fragile, and need a guidance, love, and affection just for once can they give me an assurance that I am not alone because dmn it's hard being alone, all of you left me while im in pain... All of you(family) knows that I am trying my best to get to your standard but I am weak, I can't fight a battle while im still in pain at my past battle. God sorry your child can't do and fight to the battles/task you have given me, you are the only one who knows all of my problems and pain, God I know that I got the thing that I want to get, I am just waiting to your signal until you will get me and bring me at a safe place where negativity is nowhere to be found...