Comfort in Self

Approximately one month ago I silently cut contact with the few people I wanted to call friends because after taking time to heavily reflect on those connections, I realised they weren’t pouring into me the way I poured into them. There are days I reminisce the memories made but since refocusing my attention to priorities and remaining determined in situating responsibilities, those days rarely happen.

I recently started working as an elementary school teacher and two days into it, words cannot describe the joy I’m feeling. Working with kids is healing parts of me that no amount of therapy, medication and self care can and I love it so much. Not only do I get along with my colleagues but my students already enjoy having me as their educator.

It’s interesting because I feel less lonely being alone than with others. I want to build and maintain lifelong relationships, platonic and intimate alike, but with everything I’m situating it’s unfortunately not a good time. However as I’m continuously practicing vulnerability, being an active volunteer and engaging with youth provides me the perfect balance.

I long for healthy connections but I’m in love with the gradual pace of creating them. I wish my former acquaintances well, but I’d rather pursue things that believe in healthy reciprocity.