I've been hearing a lot of people lately talking about anorexia like it's some kind of disease or addiction... I just don't see it that way. For me, being anorexic was a choice, not a disorder. I made the conscious decision to restrict my food intake because of the constant fat shaming and bullying I experienced at school.
I was tired of feeling like I wasn't good enough because of my weight, so I decided to take control of my body and my life. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could be thin and attractive, and that's exactly what I did. So why is everyone calling it a disorder or an addiction? It feels like they're trying to take away my conscious actions and make me out to be some kind of freak.
I don't see myself as having an eating disorder. I see myself as someone who made a choice to change my body in response to the pressures and negativity around me. It was empowering for me to take control and transform myself into what I thought was more acceptable and desirable.
I understand that some people might struggle with eating disorders due to mental health issues, but that's not my experience. I'm angered by the way some people label it as a problem when it was actually a solution for me. I wish people would stop pathologizing my choices and just try to understand where I'm coming from...
I'm not saying that everyone should do what I did. For me, being anorexic was a way to cope with the cruelty and judgment I faced every day. It was my way of fighting back and reclaiming my sense of worth. So please, don't call it a disorder or an addiction! Call it what it is... a choice I made to survive in a world that made me feel unworthy.
